Answer Us When We Call - Psalm 20, Part 2

In the previous post, I mentioned that I feel a certain amount of shame over an area where I doubt God. I have full confidence in the almighty power of God.  It's never been an issue of whether God could show his power in my life, but rather an issue of whether God would.  After spending the past several years with the general feeling that God wouldn't use that power in my life (whether I should have been feeling that or not isn't really the issue right now), I am noticing a certain amount of bitterness in my relationship with God that wasn't there before.

All that being said, I am excited to look at the second part of Psalm 20.  I broke this up into two parts not because the psalm is particularly long (it isn't), but because I felt like my thoughts were going in such different directions they just needed to be posted separately.

The last part of Psalm 20 begins with a very confident statement, "Now this I know."  I talked about this some in my last post, but I do want to take a second to remember the reason David, the psalmist, is so assured.  Here's what he knows: "The Lord gives victory to his anointed.  He answers from his heavenly sanctuary."  He doesn't say when or how this victory will come or try to explain why it hasn't come yet, he just has overwhelming faith that it will come.  Somehow.

The next part of the psalm talks about the two choices when it comes to trusting that this victory is coming:

1. Trust in chariots or in horses.  (Now I'm going to take some interpretive license and apply that thought to some of the worldly things I might be tempted to trust in.  Like myself and my own abilities.  After all, I don't think many of us put trust in chariots anymore!)
2. Trust in the name of God.  

To help with our decision of what to trust, David lets us know where both choices lead:

1. Those who trust in "chariots" are brought to their knees and fall.
2. Those who trust in God will rise and stand firm.

Now, maybe it's the nerd in me, but I actually get excited at the poetry of this.  Trust in worldly things and be brought to your knees; trust in God and rise.  Trust in worldly things and fall; trust in God and stand firm.  Does anyone else see the beauty of this simple juxtaposition?  

Here's another interesting thought that just occurred to me: those who trust in worldly things fall and are brought to their knees.  What a perfect time to pray, to repent and trust in God instead, to be given the opportunity to rise and stand firm!  

When I first opened to this psalm, I quick skim of the verses led me to believe that it was a gloating, victorious passage.  It is not what I assumed it to be.  The words written by David so long ago apply to my life more than I imagined.  It's not at all about basking in the victory God has provided, but instead about trusting that God will answer and protect and provide that victory.  It's about firmly and confidently trusting and having faith in God and that in itself being a source of joy and comfort.  

May the Lord Answer You - Psalm 20, Part 1

Here is yet another example of a psalm that actually makes me nervous to think about, much less reflect on and write about.  For some reason, the beginning of this psalm leaves me feeling intimidated.  I'm not sure I can even explain what it is that leaves me feeling like anything I could say would be inadequate, but I think it all boils down to one word: shame.

Let me attempt to explain.  You see, I have been a Christian for a very long time.  I grew up in a Christian home with Christian values and have never doubted God's power.  So it shames me to be honest and say that I have been struggling for a while now with the perceived lack of God's power in my life.

Maybe I need to explain my explanation.  I know in my head that God is all-powerful and I believe that to be true whole-heartedly.  However, I have, at times, doubted whether God will use that power in my life in tangible ways.  It has never been an issue of could God, but rather would God.  Many times it has seemed, at least, that the answer is that God would not, leading to a vague sense of bitterness on my part.

So, when I read Psalm 20 and see a list of things that God is fully capable, I am conflicted because I believe my God can accomplish all that and more, but I don't have as much confidence that he will do that in my life right now.  And what does it say about my faith that I lack that confidence?

Verses 1 through 5 are framed by two very similar sentiments:

• May the Lord answer you when you are in distress.
• May the Lord grant all your requests.

In between though, may start to help me process through some of the bitterness I have felt.

Following the opening line, "May the Lord answer you when you are in distress," there is a list of requests.  May God:

• protect you
• send help
• grant support
• remember your sacrifices
• accept your offerings
• give you your desires
• make your plans succeed

Without transition, this is followed by what the response to those answered prayers would be: shouts of joy and lifting high the banner of God.  Basically, this means a lot of loud and obvious praising of God for bringing victory and answering prayer.  

Then comes the reminder that God hasn't yet answered the prayers, "May the Lord grant all your requests."  The psalmist, David in this case, has listed his requests in confidence fully believing that God could do all of that and more.  I wonder if he felt any shame over doubting whether God would answer.  

I tend to think that there wasn't any shame because the very next line boldly states, "Now this I know." There is no room for doubt in that confident, faith-filled statement.  Makes you wonder what would have David so confident if his prayers hadn't been answered yet.  

Well, here it is: "The Lord gives victory to his anointed.  He answers from his heavenly sanctuary..."  Again, no room for doubt or shame in that statement.  God may not have answered yet, but David had faith that he would.  

Like I said before, I have never doubted the power of God.  Maybe it's time for me to start trusting in that power a little more.  Then maybe I will share a little bit of David's confidence.

Psalm 10

If you've been wondering if I've been slacking, I have been.  I went back to work this week and I have not mastered fitting this devotion time into a work day.  I need to find a way to take some time away without feeling like I'm missing precious time with my family.  Ideas?

Anyways, on to Psalm 10.  The very first verse grabbed my attention.  It says, "Why, Lord, do you stand far off?  Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?"  This is exactly what I have been trying to put into words for the past several months.  In some of the previous posts, I have mentioned feeling "abandoned" or "deserted" by God, always being clear that I knew all along that God would never desert me.  However, describing God as being standoffish seems to be a pretty good description without going against any truths I know about God.  So, why did it feel like he was hiding himself from me in the times I was most troubled?  I wish I had an answer, but I don't - and the rest of Psalm 10 doesn't seem to help.

I have a hard time finding a way to relate to the rest of the psalm if I'm being honest.  Verses 2 through 11 talk about what the wicked do and who they are.  Verses 12 through 15 tell God to hold the wicked accountable.  Then, verses 16 through 18 show conviction that God will indeed defend the helpless.  I know there is wicked in the world everywhere, but I also don't think "wickedness" is what has made me feel like God is standing "far off."  I feel like I've been battling difficult circumstances, not wicked people.  It just doesn't seem to speak to where I am.

It's disappointing to get to Psalm 10 and not really feel a connection to it, especially since Psalms 1 through 9 have seemed so relevant to what I've been going through.  I don't know if I'm just not looking hard enough or if there really is not much to connect with, but it's still discouraging.  

The whole reason I started reading the Psalms was to feel like God wasn't actually so "far off" and, in Psalm 10, I find a verse that completely summarizes how I have been feeling.  But, just like nearly every effort I have made in the past few years, being able to verbalize the issue has gotten me no closer to any sort of answer.  I still feel like God is hiding from me and I don't know why.  And the Psalmist doesn't give an answer, either.

Psalm 4 - Answer Me When I Call

Here's some advanced warning: This is a long blog entry.  I understand you might not have the time or desire to read it in it's entirety, although I think there are some good insights in there.  However, if you don't want to read all of it, read the first three paragraphs and the last one.

Like Psalm 3, Psalm 4 is divided into three sections that I can see:

1. A demand for God to provide relief from distress.  This demand is directed towards God as David says, "Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God."  
2. Knowledge that God has set apart the godly and will hear their prayers, including David's own prayer for relief.  Also, a command to search your own heart and not lay blame elsewhere.  This section is directed towards people.
3. Trust in God because he can provide even greater joy than prosperity can.  He will allow you to sleep in peace, even in troubled times.  Again, this section is directed towards people.

This is where things get difficult for me.  My life is easier now than it was when I started this.  I don't feet the same pressure as I was earlier this year.  Therefore, it's going to be hard for me to look deeper instead of focusing on all the "Sunday School Answers" I've learned my whole life.  I'm going to have to really take my time and look at what I'm really supposed to be learning.  After all, my goal was to develop a real relationship with God based on honesty.

When I look deeper into this psalm, what immediately strikes me is the way David almost commands God to take action.  He says "answer me" and "give me relief" and "have mercy on me" and "hear my prayer." It seems gutsy almost to the point of being impertinent - and that's just in the first verse!  These four commands resonate with me in a way that not much else has over the past year as those are the exact same things I have felt like I have needed.  I need for God to answer me and give me relief and have mercy on me and hear my prayer, but what I want to focus on first is the first part of the verse where David says, "Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God."

The line struck me as almost unusual and made me wonder if there are any other places where the same phrasing is used.  There are.  According to my study Bible, there are seven times David uses this particular phrasing, not to mention the times other authors used it in the Bible.  I want to take a minute to look at the times when David uses it.

• Psalm 3:4 - "I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain."
• Psalm 4:1 - "Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God."
• Psalm 17:6 - "I call on you, my God, for you will answer me."
• Psalm 22:2 - "My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest."
• Psalm 27:7 - "Hear my voice when I call, LORD; be merciful to me and answer me."
• Psalm 86:7 - "When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me."
• Psalm 138:3 - "When I called, you answered me; you greatly emboldened me."

The bold verses above are ones where David doesn't mention an answer or even a possible answer from God.    Obviously, David knew that God would answer him because there are four other specific times where he uses the same language but added that God answered.  So, why did he leave that hopeful part out of the other three verses?  Based on my own experiences, I see at least four options:

1. He didn't feel like God was answering or would be answering soon.
2. He knew that God would answer based on his knowledge of God and past experiences, but saying it in that moment seemed forced, so he left it out.
3. He was feeling desperate and perhaps a little angry.
4. He knew the truth, but had a hard time believing it in the moment.

I can relate to all those explanations.  I know what it feels like to feel like God's not answering.  I still don't feel God's presence.  The only difference is, at this particular time in my life, I don't feel the same desperation I was feeling not long ago.  

If you skimmed over all of that because it seemed tedious to you, here's the part I'd like you to read.  From reading Psalm 4:1 and other verses from David like it, I've reached some conclusions.  First, it's acceptable to God to feel desperate and demand answers.  It's also fine not to verbally acknowledge the truths you know about God in those moments.  Second, even when it's not acknowledged or felt, the truth remains that God does answer my cries.  Lastly, it's easier to see those answers during times when I am farther removed from the pressure that caused the desperation in the first place.

Psalm 2: An Aside

I'm not sure how much of this thinking is directly related to Psalm 2 and I'm inclined to believe that not much of it is, but for whatever reason, it's what's on my mind after reading the Psalm.

Before I go on, I want to clarify one thing: what I'm about to say is not an indictment on anyone that we know, past or present.  If anything it's a reflection of things I've been known to do in the past that I have now come to realize may be more harmful than helpful.

There have been times when I have spoken honestly about where I am in my faith.  Being this frank about my relationship with God generally puts people on edge, not knowing whether to address what I said or forget that I said it.  If they do respond, I usually get one of two responses:

1. "That sucks.  I'm sorry you're going through that."  Then, nothing more is said or done, helpful or otherwise.  
2. "(Insert Sunday School answer here)."  Then, after the Sunday School answer is given, nothing more is said or done, helpful or otherwise.  

Thinking about this has made me acutely aware of all the times in the past when I have encountered someone struggling with their faith or with a difficult situation and given the "easy" answers.  It reminds me of all the times I could have really done something to help someone out, but instead focused on giving them the most perfectly correct and appropriate biblical answer.  What a waste of an opportunity to show God's love in a personal and practical way.